Im at strip club and am horny
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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