I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
