im drinking this country out of the recession.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
