Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize