my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
