dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
