just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
