It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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