I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
