Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
