sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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