Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
