btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
