Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
