I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
