i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
