she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
