Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
