Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
