It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
