If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
