dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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