i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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