i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
