So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
