I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
