Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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