Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
ok first of all what the fuck
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize