Kiss
Puke
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
