What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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