I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize