my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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