Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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