I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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