can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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