you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize