Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
