508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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