WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
