I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
