bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
