I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
