Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
