thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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