i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
