Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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