Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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