went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
