I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
