Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
