so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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