My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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