It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
