Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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