You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Just high enough for therapy.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Randomize
