My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
