Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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