I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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