when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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