i can't believe i had my finger in that
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
