Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
