i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
