Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
