she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
